I want to take a minute now to stop talking about myself and to talk about some very key figures in my martial arts career. I’ve been lucky to have been involved with many good instructors. Throughout all my training career, now spanning almost 15 years, i’ve come across many instructors both, good and hate to say so, some bad. For the most part the experience has been awesome. Even with the bad experiences, i took away knowledge. It’s all part of the journey.
Appreciation and gratitude, the intangible feelings of respect and admiration, the things money can’t buy, the things expressed in the symbiotic relationship between teacher and pupil.
The many layers of this and the understanding of it all can only be attained through growth, knowledge and life experience.
In my youth, a basic level of appreciation and gratitude were present, but not understood like it is now. It was through growth of my personality, the process of learning; learning how to learn, the transition from boy to man and letting go were all fundamental processes to understanding the significance, importance and impact a good coach has.
When i started, i was so young, angry, selfish. Full of negative emotion. These things swelled inside me like tidal waves pounding the sand of deserted beaches. It’s what i felt: deserted and alone.
I was incapable of understanding what love, admiration, selflessness, compassion and empathy were. I grew up in a household that was absent of all these things. The only thing i understood was negativity. My story was one long chapter in a history of violence. It was the path i was shown and the only one i understood.
From the way i dressed, to the music i listened to, to my style of fighting. It was all volatile.
From fighter, to budding coach, to business owner. The process of learning and understanding these things took about a decade. The learning hasn’t stopped, and i continue to try and understand these things. Letting go of the ego, being understanding of all people, ideas, beliefs. Keeping an open mind and reserving judgement.
Being driven not by rewards, but rather things of the intrinsic nature.
‘What’s in it for me? What’s in it for you? What do we stand to gain?’
Things i still hear often and are reminders of what it is to just do things without gain or reward.
Things i was taught by my instructors, whether it was done blantlty or taught through their own acts of kindness.
These are the lessons that remained with me.
Any decent instructor can show you what a punch looks like, or teach you the physics of an armbar and then go off and play with their cell phone for the remainder of the class.
It takes a special kind person to open up to you and really be attentive of your growth. Technique and personality wise. The technique is the body, the personality is the mind. They want you to be a better fighter, but especially more so, a better person. They care, they sacrifice, they work for free, they’re patient and really, they don’t ask for much. Just for you to be better.
The concept of human nature is complex, and each individual is as different and as complex as the next.
In no regard is all this under the veil of them being perfect beings. Like myself, i try my hardest to be good but at times fault in ways that are regretful and shameful.
There are aspects of all these people that perhaps fall under that line of thinking; but for them to allow themselves to be vulnerable and admitful of these things is what makes their character truly shine.
No one is perfect and we all make mistakes. The difference being owning up to your mistakes versus passing on the blame.
That is the key.
Anyways.
These three instructors have had the most impact in all my training, and please, i am not discounting anyone else that was a part of martial arts life. Throughout Muay Thai, Judo, BJJ, Wrestling, MMA and Boxing i did take a piece of their instruction and wisdom with me, and many of you remain in my heart, but the bulk of my teachings now stem from these three figures. These are the stories of them.
Kru Santi:
He is the basis for everything going on in my life at the moment in the 14 years now doing Muay Thai. He was not my first instructor, but is my only instructor. He laid the foundation and the framework for everything i teach. Stoic in nature and hard to please, a praise from him meant the world. Aside from him teaching me the techniques, rules, understanding of the sport, he taught me the art. There are two parts of this. The practitioner/fighter side, and the coaching side. He taught me what it is to have tight technique. An understanding of the fundamentals, the finesse. He helped me develop an eye for movement. We would watch fights together at the gym and he would point out the little itty bitty things. He taught me the psychology of fighting, how to play around with opponents, not to be afraid, void yourself of feelings and emotions and go in there. To not be a pussy about things.
Taught me how to develop your skill in the gym. The importance of repetitions. Doing the same thing hundred if not thousands of times.
From his teaching style i learned to coach. From his coaching style i learned how to fight and coach fighters. Even in his old age i would watch him play spar with his clients or other members. No wasted movement. Amazing timing and impeccable technique.
He was made of stone. Watching him hold pads for world class fighters and hardly bat an eyelash at their explosive power and technique was such a sight to see. We would all stand in awe as they would crack the pads only for him to not move an inch and continue walking forward.
He was scarred, battle wounded. Left deaf in one ear by muay thai legand Coban “The Crusher” Lookchaomaesaitong’s infamous right hook, he would always lean his good, cauliflowered ear and say ‘eh?’. His hands calloused and fractured. His feet blown the fuck out by years of fighting, kicking pads and heavy bags.
He was patient. Taught me about patience. To not be so erratic and wasteful with my fighting, but to be exact. Precise.
He was smart, receiving a bachelor’s degree in thailand. When he spoke, it was wise, analytical, thoughtful, insightful. Much like his technique, he wasted no breath in unnecessary words. Concise and to the point.
And in all this, he was broken. Sometimes in spirit, sometimes in body. The years of training, fighting, and now coaching would take their toll. Always injured but never complained and followed through with his word, took the abuse of fighters like myself, still donning his smile and chuckling at our lack of stamina and power.
Now as a coach i can barely start relating. Every morning i wake up in pain. Elbow, back, shoulders, knees, wrists.
The mental anguish of every day being the same. With a sliver of rest on sundays, only to go back to the grind the next day.
He was both the anvil, and the hammer that forged steel. He sharpened the blade.
The job of a muay thai coach is tough, arduous. We are in the profession of abuse. Our job is to make people, stronger, sharper, faster. Hit harder. Not hard enough. Harder, for a longer duration. We gauge performance by the amount of pain our arms feel after every subsequent kick. Until our forearms are numb from the impact of kicks, knees and elbows.
And at the end of the day, i never appreciated.
Fighting is such a selfish thing. You breath, sweat, spit and abuse your pad holder, your coach. You think because you pay a gym membership you are entitled to this.
He sacrificed his well being for my success. Never asked for anything other than to be a good fighter and a even better person. Win or lose. To fight with spirit, to take no shit and go out there and fight my hardest. We had good days, we had bad days. He always stuck by my side. He is a great man, a great teacher and continues to be successful in his coaching. He is an asset to the muay thai community. Humble, thoughtful and kind. Everything i strive to be in a coach and in a man.
He is imperfectly perfect. He is my inspiration and proud to say my muay thai coach.
Khup Khun Khup for everything Kru Santi.
