I recently posted a story on Instagram asking about any good TV shows to watch (I just recently watched all of The Wire and Sopranos), and someone jokingly commented, “Where have you been in the last 20 years?” I replied, “Muay Thai.”
I literally have eaten, slept, and done Muay Thai for the last 20 years, and only now have I finally started “slowing down.” Much of this has to do with getting a little older, some injuries, and finding an appropriate work/life balance.
Not a day goes by where I don’t engage with the sport in some sort of capacity though. (i.e. writing about this on a Sunday morning or teaching all morning yesterday and spending all evening at the local Muay Thai show watching the up and comers, all the while reading a book about the history of boxing and watching 1900’s footage of boxing during the breaks and intermissions).
I am truly blessed to live a life that I’ve always dreamt of. And when it gets extremely difficult to deal with I have to remind myself that I asked for all of this and I should practice gratitude that my dreams were manifested.
Side note: As I am writing this I think of the delusion of dreams and find it so fucking funny and ironic. Like I wanted this life but never occurred to me how much hard work it all entails.
Even when the work is ‘Easy’, It’s still a a lot of work!
L OH-FUCKING- L.
Anyways.
On this day I had my first real introduction to the sport. My first Muay Thai class.
I recall waiting on the bench to start the work out, the whole environment, a lot of the equipment covered in duct tape. There was so much duct tape that you would think the owner had some sort of vested interest in the material and/or company.
‘Working out’ for me was doing some sort of arbitrary dumbell/barbell work out at my local public fitness gym. Maybe jog on the treadmill a bit.
I didn’t know what a real work out was. I soon did learn though.
My first class was truly one of the hardest workouts I’ve ever had.
The only other times I recall being put to that level of exhaustion was my first fight and another smoker at Muay Thai Academy during an extremely hot summer of 2008.
And the degree of soreness the morning after my first class, nothing ever has compared to that.
But I kept coming back, despite all the hardships. (Recommended reading: genesis and first quarter).
Eventually that gym became my home. I would spend most of my time there.
Either hanging out with friends way before the work outs, way after the workouts, on weekends. Cleaning the place, eating there, drinking, smoking or partying there.
Causing trouble. Not too much trouble, but just enough.
Eventually you are asked to help teach. First with the kid classes, then some of the afternoon classes.
Obviously, not be paid- I mean because I was always behind on my gym dues.
So you were either cleaning the place, fighting for the gym (our fight purses going directly to the gym) or teaching the odd classes.
Or avoiding the owner entirely.
It was a special place, an odd place. Located in one of the most violent intersections of North Hollywood. An area filled with gangs and drugs.
The gym was always open and left unsupervised but we never had trouble with vandalism or theft. Only tagging on the walls but that was expected.
It was a place for us to be free. To let out all anger and aggression. A little hatred for others and a little hatred for ourselves.
An incubator for fighters and a space for violence. It was DOG EAT DOG.
Sadly, it shaped my view of the world and my conduct throughout life. Only now, 20 yers later am I recovering and mending the road of my mistakes.
It wasn’t all bad. I learned so much about different cultures, beliefs, respect for elders, community and camaraderie.
When I began fighting:
Competing wasn’t an athletic endeavor for me, not at the start at least. It was at first a way to test out my skill. Then you learn what you are capable of.
For me it was learning to hurt people. I got pretty good at that. I then started to run and train harder and for longer to get stronger.
To maximize your ability to tolerate punishment and be able to give it out twice as much.
It was all so emotional. It was my main method for competition. Not a whole lot of game planning. And when things didn’t go as plan the last resort would be: ‘Imma fucking hurt this foo’.
I started competing a lot eventually. Always trying to be in a fight camp to remove myself from the present. To always feel hurt… to validate something. Perhaps what I was feeling inside or even my own existence.
When I ended fighting:
It was a good 8 years of this until I met someone that changed my view of the world.
It was love.
She was an extremely compassionate, empathetic, patient and understanding woman.
It was the first time anyone was like that towards me. It made me feel different and eventually the need and drive for fighting was extinguished.
How she tolerated me I don’t know because I was CRAZY.
Once I stopped fighting, I felt lost. My identity was so wrapped up in fighting I went crazy. What was I going to do?
‘I’ll open a gym’. (In summary, I spent time teaching at other gyms, life events etc etc)
This is where I went even CRAZIER. Jk. Sorta.
12 years ago when I opened I didn’t think it would be what it is now. I just wanted a small place to hang out at, sweep up when I was done, go home and have a beer.
My own little corner of Muay Thai Academy on the westside, without the violence and anger, and with way more structure. (Fun fact, TBI was named as an homage to Muay Thai Academy. It’s basically a rewording and translation of the name).
Running the gym.. It forced me to grow as a person. To be a better coach, leader, mentor, business owner.. A person of noble character. To be of help to others.
The path wasn’t straight forward and sudden. Nor has it ended. It continues. Sometimes it’s easy, other times complex, full of mistakes and requiring back tracking.
I wonder why I keep doing it too.. it’s hard work. An interesting intersection of ‘white collar’ and ‘blue collar’.
And what started off as ‘Damn, I did this?!’ Has turned into ‘Damn, we did this?!’
To this day I am always so flattered when people decide to train with us at TBI. We are not a big name nor do we have famous professional fighters on the roster.
I like to think we are just consistent. With a very pretty style of the sport.
A very tight, inclusive community that looks out for each other.
This sport has given me so much and I am grateful to be able to share with all of you.
Thank you for reading!